Kinda bored from mugging.
Actually, I havent really started.
hahaha.
Perhaps the adrenaline rush is not here yet.
I watched TV, bath real long, still slacking.
But I need to play first before I can study.
That's stupid.

Queued for free Ben and Jerry's ice-cream at white sands.
BY said we queued for 40 minutes.
That's shocking, cause I didn't know time passed that slowly.
Anyway, there were quite a lot of ngee ann people.
That's shocking too.
This whole event only made me see the 'kiasu' side of Singaporeans.
Nothing more than that.
The saddest part is I'm part of it too.
It's just a very normal thing to everyone,
but it really reflects badly on how Singaporeans really react to cheap gains.
I feel so cheapskate.
Nevertheless, we just succumbed to the temptation.
Is this how ugly our society is?

Anyway, I found the ice-cream really ugly.
It looks like some piled-up shit.
Mine looks like one.
I looked at baoyi's, eh, the colour is not very homogenous.
Somehow, I feels that it looks even more like shit now.
Of courseI ate it.
Tastes heavenly.
Chocolate therapy.
Got really hyper due to the endorphines in it.
Soon I got sick of it, but I still stuffed it in unwillingly.
We should always eat finish, respect food.

We went to the foodcourt to eat.
I ate Japanese noodles.
And I got a steamed egg for free.
I don't know why.
There's always good and bad.
I know what's the bad thing.
My earphones spoiled.
wtf.

When you ask yourself why you are studying like this,
putting your health at risk,
sacrificing your youth,
you only have one answer.
An education and a good job.
I seriously don't believe this is a strong reason for ourselves to slog our guts out.
It's a part and parcel of life, ironically, a Singaporean's life.

Haha, I like this topic.
But need to study, bye.

I'm bored.
Exasperated by QA, and my whole mind filled with emaths.
I did mug, but I've a feeling that I havent done it yet.
This insecurity is really making me uncertain.
Nevertheless, I always choose to push my troubles away with
I DON'T KNOW.
I like the confidence I have right now.
Actually, I need more security.
I just don't feel safe enough.
Oh well.

I know I did what I was supposed to do,
So let my troubles be gone with the wind.
whoosh~

I went out yesterday, and realised how much the world has changed.
Maybe only TM.
I forgot the fact that it was a saturday.
Apparently, there were so many people.
I was so pissed off, cause everyone's getting in my way.
If I were to kill those who pissed me off,
at least a hundred would have been murdered.
So, I was slacking yesterday.
And I'm slacking now, watching TV.
Omg.

I'm like so killing myself.
Going to mug and watch TV at the same time.
god.

I wasn't really studying.
I was playing some online games, that's damn childish.
To think my brother wanted to play what I played.

It's great mugging together, but I think I would prefer it when I'm alone.
A little disappointed today, cause it didn't rain during the HCL paper.
I was like, wtf, why never rain?
Obviously it never failed to have a thunderstorm on HCL exam days,
but my prediction proved to be wrong for this year.
Extremely disappointed.
Suddenly I miss the hall.
The exam feeling at the hall, great feeling.
Apparently it looks like we'll never return to that time.
I like the hall smell.
I miss the hall. give me one.
Oh well.

Anyway, I didn't write bao zhang bao dao, which is number 5.
I was talking to myself the entire time during the exam.
'you choose number 3 eh, narrative eh, sure boh?'
'I can only find one point for number 5. Write 3 lah.'
'you finally broke your tradition of choosing 2 and 5 for three years.'
'okay I've to stop talking to myself.'

I had some struggle to choosing 3, cause I don't like narratives one bit.
I don't specially rmb fanciful terms to use.
My vocabulary is damn limited.
Anyway, my best zuo wen's are always on my mother.
So let's just hope I get what I want.
Oh ya, I wrote half way to the climax, which sounds abnormally normal,
just by writing that one sentence, tears welled up and rolled down.
Perhaps is because I'm guilty of what I described in my zuo wen.
Neglecting my mother, by just entertaining her with
orh
uh
dui
huh
okay lor
shui bian lah
and I'll always blame her if I can't chew my breakfast properly,
because the bread always get stuck to my teeth.
I'll grow really fucked-up, and tell her not to have bread for breakfast.
I hate bread.
She gets pissed off and fucked-up too.
And she'll start her story of me preparing my own breakfast.

It's like I'm blaming my inability on her.
We should really appreciate our mothers.
I love you mummy.
Feel like crying now.

Love your mothers, everyone.
You'll come to regret it if you don't.
Trust me.

Going to mug now.
bye.

Do you have me in your heart?

I'm so happy with my performance.
It may not have the best grades, but I put in 100% of my effort.
YAY.
I finished all of them on time,
plus a significant amount of time after every paper was left, for me to sleep.
Exams are really very taxing.
I thought I was about to faint when I was doing core geog.
Everything grew a little blurry. I had a headache. My waist was in pain.
I seriously wonder if I wrote with my waist or hand.
My hand was abnormally fine.
Mugging at macdonalds was great.
Doing the same for tml too, I guess.
Going to mug for SS now.
night.

It's the start of mid-year tml.
Glad to know that I'm pretty ready for tml, so I'm kinda slacking.
Slacking, for the reason of not wanting to have a blackout tml.

ENGLISH GEOGRAPHY HCL
Getting low grades for english compo demoralises me, of course.
Nevertheless, I believe I can get high marks, provided that I don't screw it up again.
Human geog is easy if I can have a fresh mind to start the paper with.
So, I've stopped cramming in information. YEA.
HCL is paper two comprehension.
Just do it at the speed of lightning.
I always wonder why I'm so slow at this, because I write too much.

Wish me luck (:
When I just chucked you out of my conscious mind,
someone just had to refresh my memory and pain,
and awaken you from my subconsciousness.

I'm so bored that I don't even wanna do anything at all.
Obviously I can't.
Feeling moody, cause I accidentally bruised my itsy bitsy toe.
It's artery leading to it is damaged, bruised, now purple in colour.
Blood clot too.
My knee has the feeling that the nerves jammed up.
Told my parents, they kinda ignored it.
I felt hurt, of course.
So I got pissed off, and didn't wanna study anymore.

When you think everyone's studying, everyone thinks that everyone's studying.
So actually, everyone's main motivation for studying is that everyone's studying, so must I.
Sounds stupid, but that's the case for me.

I'm like playing with the asknlearn programmes.
The chemistry thing is so damn cool.
Must try lah.
I was playing with the QA experiment.
damn cool.

Going to do something constructive now.
MUG~

Refuse to mug.
because I think I over-did it.
But no matter how much I mug,
I never finish what I want to accomplish.
Oh well.

I just watched a whole load of TV.
and I slept half way through.
but it's okay, it's going to end next week.
I mean the show.

Okay I'm going to mug human geog like no shit.
When everyone's slogging their guts out,
I think I'm the only one watching everyone do that.
I'm never motivated enough to like study like no hell.
Look at ML, TC, I really wonder how they study.
I'll never compare myself to them, I feel inferior.

But I believe that a clean and efficient mind is the key to success.
No point clogging up your brain with useless nonsense from the textbooks.
When you do that, at the examination hall, you'll only wanna vomit those stuff out.
You forget the essence of studying.
Why do we need to study anyway?
Oh well. I'm going to my comrades now.

I've been doing maths for the past three days
and I found out that I'm talking to my pencil.
I'm going to go bonkers soon.

Suddenly my life became compacted again.
Because when I was sick, I practically slept and watched tv.
I'm bringing some textbook to the toilet again,
as well as sleeping with my mugging comrades again.

I don't really like such a lifestyle.
It's unhealthy, it's bad, it's detrimental.
But I think this is going to be the only way out,
since I always waste time finding the right 'feeling' to mug.

For too much maths these days,
I suddenly cannot absorb anything from other subjects.
For as far as I know, I've not been using my brain.
My thinking capacity is limited by the formulas,
hinders my thinking process.
because I can't even answer a thinking question properly.
I guess it boils down to inadequate preparation.

Anyway, I'll have to think out of the box.
For my puny brain, it's hard though,
but I can do it.
WOOHOO.
I just need more time.
naughty boy.

I sleep tooooooo much.
and I sleep with my mugging comrades.
Slept with my emath worksheet yesterday.

Anyway, still a little sick.
Severe intolerable cough.
yearning for something cold to have.

going to grab an ice-cream later
when my mummy sleeps.
YAY.

I just wanna be sick.
I hate reality.
OH WELL.

Today was last zhongruan practice.
feeling sad cause I'm leaving.
feeling proud cause I have such wonderful juniors
feeling guilty cause we did none for our seniors
feeling happy cause I'm free from CO for now


A party was held to bid farewell to us.
It was yanyi's bday, so there was chocolate cake.
people deemed it fatty, while I deemed it as poison since I'm sick
oh well I ate it. It was delicious (:


I had a orange balloon. murdered though.
received heartwarming cards.
2 photos that look horribly out of place, but lovely.
Thought I wasn't going to be cake-creamed, but I got creamed by yanting.
It is utmost fortunate that stains were avoided.



I love Zhongruan.
May all the memories stay with us.



feeling damn guilty for not doing anything for our seniors when they left.
I don't think I even bade farewell to them.
I don't care.
I'll organise a zhongruan chalet and make everyone come.
every single one.
hahahahahahahahawakaka.



must start mugging.
anyway, mum still owes me last week's allowance.
bad mummy :D
oh well.
MUG~

HAHAHA
I'm sick and I screwed up all my tests.
yay.
I kinda wrote out of point for english discursive ACHIEVEMENT.
by rambling on some shit and was unable to come back on the right track due to lack of time.
I screwed up bio test by forgetting all about insulin, only to recall at the last 5 minutes.
So I bade goodbye to close to 10 marks.
Though the high motivation from ytd, I was unable to concentrate and perform my best today.
Very guilty.
On the way home, I comforted myself again.
Words like dont be too sad if you fail or do averagely.



Anyway, I'm not anywhere happier too.
because my nose looks like it's gonna fall off.
Apparently my flu took a point for the bad, and it's been watering non-stop today.
I used 9 packets of tissue,
from which 3 is mine, 2 is RS's, 1 is BC's, 2 is BY's, 1 is TC's.
And I did what I do best.
SPAM THE TABLE.
It's pretty normal to me to spam my table with germy tissues,
cause I spam my bed with them too.
It's flooded with white colonies now. (:



Thanks for those tissues. :D



Geraldine didn't come again.
Winnie too.
and Asyraf deems our side of the classroom as 'sick area'.
I look the most sick in class. DUH.
I'm still wiping my nose throughout the entire day.




I say this is a epidemic.
beware.
drink more water.
cause I think it's contagious.
Symptoms are flu, sore throat, cough, fever, headache.




Take care.




I have a feeling ML and I won't have a partner tml again.
But don't come near me too.
Though I always say I want to spread to you, I don't mean it.
Exams are coming.

Let's MUG now. okay later.
I'm so damn motivated now.
I'm gonna get top marks for everything.

A lot of people fell sick.
ME (:
geraldine
winnie
beecheng
yanting
renwei
terry
andrew (saw baojiwan on his table)

very cool.
I had mild fever, cough, migraine, limb pain.
sounds very bad and serious.
but I guess I passed the most unbearable interphase on monday after recess.
I was struggling to keep my eyes open, cause the migraine was damn serious.
There was no geraldine to talk to me.
My eyes were swollen that I couldn't open them fully.
I thought I had dengue.
I guess no one knew I was feeling unwell until I told people so.
At least Beecheng knew I was sick.
Baoyi looked like she don't believe me, but I think she did.
Thanks for the tissue(s) BAOYI.


I was very sick and dizzy ytd.
but I rushed the SS out for geraldine.
It came to nought when gb said:
I'm sick, not coming tml.
Anyway, hand in by this week, not today.


In the end, winnie didn't come too.
She's having headache.
ML said she would come, but I think winnie overslept, so might as well be absent.


hopelessly, there's chemistry SPA today.

speaking of which, I'm very happy :D
cause I'm contented with the results.


I'm pretty fine now.
and I'm very motivated to get top marks.
YEA.
OFF TO MUG (:

deja vu
great feeling.
I like the click feeling.
yet I hadn't got that feeling for a very long time.


Today I flooded my mind by mugging.
I consider this kind of lifestyle fufilling.
Happy but groggy.
I mugged continuously without taking a break.
Guess what?
My vision went blur.
And the effect remained for hours.


I started from 10am to 5.15pm.
with less than 2 hours not mugging.
I'm kinda crazy.
I was quite immuned to time, because I plugged on earphones.
I shifted from the table to the floor to the table, floor, table.
I can't sit still.
So, I'll start shaking my leg, bring it up and down.
start swinging them around, swirl my butt sideways like a caterpillar.
Then I'll start contracting some random muscles.
I did lots of writing today.
Feeling damn contented, but still lacking.


I stopped mugging only when I felt breathless and woozy.
I walked around the house and felt giddy.
It's great having a whole load of time to mug.
'Cause despite not being my home, but my aunt's,
with 3 crazy children screaming like shit,
my grandmother chanting,
I could concentrate better than at home.


My grandmother's chants kinda get on my nerves cause it's like repeat continuously.
I respect the religion only.
I like being a freethinker.
YAY.
So, I plug on my earphones. woohoo.
turn the volume up, then I can't hear it anymore.
WOOHOO.


But there's this little boy that comes around,
poking me with his toys.
Then request to play my handphone when I'm using it.
I forbidded him and he hit and threatened me.
wtf.


Actually I mugged real hard today,
because I wanted to keep myself occupied from someone.
However, the moment I visit the toilet,
I'll think of him.
disgusting.
It's considered constructive.



Frankly speaking,
I found my grades sliding.
It's still good, but it's pretty bad to me.
I see them.
Fuck. what's this?
eh you can do better than this.
I lost my sense of direction.
Cause you left my life.
furthermore I choose to push you away.

I concluded and told myself this disgusting ending.
Go find a new one that you can see everyday for this year.
Not easy.
Cause he left a great impression alr.
It's really not easy.
Cause I'm just too demanding.


I can't believe I have to depend on others to improve my grades.
damn disgusting.



Lastly,
I'm not that horny afterall.
I concluded my limit only stopped at what my parents does.
that's all.
I'm still pure to abnormal stuff outside my circle.
I'm really not the most horny if you think again.
I just feel that it's normal to talk about stuff that you can do later in life.
Or talk about your body.
It's like everybody also have right?
Just that I'm the only one saying it.
I'm just interested in human body.
Doesn't mean I'm sick.
I'm perfectly normal.
I dare to say that everyone has thought of such stuff before but just never say.
I'm stating facts. That's all.
Maybe it's because I grow up in a very open family that doesn't mind being open.
As long as you don't do anything funny, it's okay.
My first impression I give to you is not horny right?
I only get horny when I think the person can take it and leave it there as it is.
Maybe it's because ML influenced everyone to think this way.
She'll think of me the moment HORNY comes out.
Actually, ML's horny too lah.
Just that I was the first to say my horny thoughts out to everyone only.
REALLY.
It started after we took measurements for the blazers last year.
when I made a comment or observation about winnie.
I think everyone know also right, only dont want to say out.
tsk.

Did a survey serene recommended me.
I'm a born science person I guess.
a future biochemist.



WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
You scored as a Biology/Chemistry/Geology
You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Biology, Chemistry, Geology, or related majors (e.g., Biochemistry, Environmental Science, Forestry, Fisheries and Wildlife, Genetics, Marine Biology, Zoology).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Biology/Chemistry/Geology
94%
Education/Counseling
81%
Accounting/Finance/Marketing
81%
Psychology/Sociology
81%
Visual&PerformingArts
81%
Physics/Engineering/Computer
75%
Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health
75%
Mathematics/Statistics
69%
HR/BusinessManagement
56%
Religion/Theology
50%
PoliticalScience/Philosophy
44%
History/Anthropology/LiberalArts
25%
English/Journalism/Comm
25%
French/Spanish/OtherLanguage
19%



I forsaken my homework to crap here.
feeling pretty guilty.
can give me other surveys?
I really need them.
urgh.

the world is just a pile of shit.
And I'm very lost in it.
I don't know.
he's rattling on my ears again.
omg, is he my brother or sister?

Can't imagine the only word in my mind is MUG.STUDY.
sounds crazy.
I tried combating the problem with TV.
but when I feel bored or a little bottled-up,
I'll always be here to blog.
I think I'm losing my mind soon. RAH.

Should really be disposing all the distractions from my mind.
It's always contradicting that when I just happen to push it away,
another one comes along or the old previous one returns.
damn damn amusing.

The plans I set out to complete are never done,
despite myself coercing myself to mug,
or else I can't do the stuff I like.
Today, I wanted to do history notes,
stupidly, I realised that I left my file in school,
when I needed the information from my file.
It's driving me crazy.

In fact, I enjoy mugging.
After some time though, like 2 hours.
When I just got into the real high mugging mode,
there'll bound to be something forcing me to stop and do miscellaneous stuff.
At home,
My mother would want me to do some housework.
My father never stops me, he'll on the TV.
My brother would start doing silly stuff to me.
At my grandma's house,
My cousins would sit on my butt when the floor is my table.
My aunts would interrupt me by saying 'nice handwriting'.
My grandma would start talking to me about life.
The BEST distraction is still that damned screen that makes noise all the time.
I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SO VULNERABLE TO THEM.
the more I hate myself for being so transparent to you.
can you stop coming into my life anymore?
I just pushed you away.
I really can't afford to pull you back.

I really wonder if I'm the only one that has such distractions.
I really hate it when my body itches when I get fucked-up.

I realised that I'm more inclined to being more open now.
I can talk more confidently, because I adopt the don't care attitude.
Oh ya, I think Winnie's predictions will come true.
I think I would wear contacts, but it's scary.
I'm getting more random.
I smile more. :D

Anyway, leaving CO soon.
Tentatively April.
guess no more staying till June/July crap.
Just when I start to appreciate CO practices more and stop my procrastinations.
when I just started bonding with my lovely juniors,
I had to leave.
wtf.
At least I knew I left an impact on someone else's life.
I feel contented enough.

Sec 4 no life.
totally agree.
but i think JC will be like exam days everyday. YAY.
fucking shit.

Feel old though I'm still 15. YAY.
Feel like getting married now.
HOW?