Our lovely Econs paper just ended today! Woohoo! It feels like the exams are half-done, though it's just the beginning with one paper down. Haha. I never really fancied econs anyway, so I'm rather happy to get it over and done with. :D




I feel much less uptight over the JCTs now. Seriously. I guess it's because the rest are relatively easier to study, to my brain that is. I shall study later. :D




It's good to have this perception that study can be enjoyable. For the least, I try to make myself think that it's enjoyable. It works sometimes, but I'm not sure if I'm deceiving myself or not. All the information and words get in more easily when you are happier. I'm very sure of that. :D




Michael Jackson passed away recently. This made me think of his famous dance - moonwalk. I really like to see dancers do the moonwalk. I think it's super cool, even though I've seen it for a dozen times. Honestly, I think that it's really nice to watch. Actually, Michael Jackson looks fine from afar. Haha. He can look a little scary upon a close-up. Despite all the proclaimed illegal and cruel acts he has done, we cannot deny his influence on the pop industry. Though I'm not his fan, I do feel a little sad over his death.




I went to popular yesterday, which was a sunday, to buy new earphones. It's ridiculous how my earphones can spoil periodically every 6 months. Sigh. Anyway, I overheard a lady wanting Michael Jackson's album. The shopkeeper said that it's sold out, since there was only a pathetic three. It's rather practical to see how people rush to buy albums of a person who had just passed away. I reckon that three pieces must have been left on the shelf for a damn long time before he passed away.





I didn't know my parents are fans of him, but not the hard-core ones. We have Laser Discs of his albums at home. You know, the big discs that are even bigger than your face? I seriously wonder if the LDs still work. It's pretty cool to have such antiques at home. Come to think of it, Michael Jackson carved at his career at a pretty young age then. A pop icon at that time, my parents' time. Haha.





Okay, the reason I blabbered on so long about him is because I love his moonwalk. That's all! :D





What does it take to make you come here?

Sometimes we seem to have regret our actions, but on deep thought, it actually isn't the case. Just because our heart wavers and feeling towards a certain object or event or even someone changes, it's natural to think that the reaction would be permanent. However, it is often puzzling how the regret or feeling can undo itself. So then, the reaction is no longer permanent.



Since the reaction is not permanent, is the regret there?



I often tell myself not to regret what I've done. Apparently, I've missed out on a whole bunch of opportunities. And of course, I feel a little regretful. It's natural, eh? Somehow, I always feel a little uncomfortable having even small regrets in my life. So, I always tell myself that I've got no regrets. In the end, it seems like it's all self-deception.




Even with all those regrets, I still stand by my own decisions and respect how others view it. I'm still happy. I managed to convince myself that I should stand by my decision no matter what, no matter how wrong it may be. Honestly, I spend a great deal of time on that. Not to mean that I've got a lot of regrets. It's that, I tend to be unable to let go of things easily.




I've been clinging onto something that I should have let go of long ago. And I don't think I'm ready to release and let it leave.

I'm happy with what I have now.


If I could learn how to let go on certain stuff, I would be even happier.
If I could be more forgiving, I would be even happier too.
If I could let my unhappiness flow away easily, I would be one of the world's happiest person.


I shall strive towards these goals and be happier. Humans are selfish to a certain extent, that's an undeniable fact. I shall be selfish and hope to be happier. And I have another small tiny wish too.


I wish my family and friends and you, the one reading this, can be happy too!
Hopefully under my influence. Hah. :D
I may not show wide smiles everyday, but I know that I'm a happy and contented person. So, I hope you are too. :D








Don't get bogged down by the nitty-gritty stuff. Learn to move on.

I'm feeling a little lousy now. And I think I know why. Hah. For once, I can understand the reason behind my feelings. That orange bar just keeps blinking and blinking, yet I can only stand by and watch. Anyway, it's good to feel a little down sometimes.




Seriously, feeling down sometimes balances your emotions. It makes you happy when you meet happy stuff. Imagine if you are always happy, as in always happy, the feeling of happiness would slowly lose its significance.




For these past few weeks, I've been feeling really happy, that I think I've forgotten how sad feels like. Even when our PW teacher was screaming at our group, I was like, 'Is she scolding us?'




Suddenly, sadness sets in. It might be the effect of happiness wearing off. Perhaps the former her is more suited in the less joyful world of her own. Sadly, she seems to be more efficient in that world.




I enjoy basking in the joy with everyone else, yet also enjoy feeling down on my own. However, it's quite irritating when people always pull me away from my own little lovely world to converse in meaningless windows. I don't mean the one with TG, I meant another window. :D




I need someone to talk to NOW. ): But whenever people are around to talk to, I'm always feeling happy. People are rarely there when I want to open up to them. This is so contradicting.




Are you dead or what?