the world is just a pile of shit.
And I'm very lost in it.
I don't know.
he's rattling on my ears again.
omg, is he my brother or sister?

Can't imagine the only word in my mind is MUG.STUDY.
sounds crazy.
I tried combating the problem with TV.
but when I feel bored or a little bottled-up,
I'll always be here to blog.
I think I'm losing my mind soon. RAH.

Should really be disposing all the distractions from my mind.
It's always contradicting that when I just happen to push it away,
another one comes along or the old previous one returns.
damn damn amusing.

The plans I set out to complete are never done,
despite myself coercing myself to mug,
or else I can't do the stuff I like.
Today, I wanted to do history notes,
stupidly, I realised that I left my file in school,
when I needed the information from my file.
It's driving me crazy.

In fact, I enjoy mugging.
After some time though, like 2 hours.
When I just got into the real high mugging mode,
there'll bound to be something forcing me to stop and do miscellaneous stuff.
At home,
My mother would want me to do some housework.
My father never stops me, he'll on the TV.
My brother would start doing silly stuff to me.
At my grandma's house,
My cousins would sit on my butt when the floor is my table.
My aunts would interrupt me by saying 'nice handwriting'.
My grandma would start talking to me about life.
The BEST distraction is still that damned screen that makes noise all the time.
I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SO VULNERABLE TO THEM.
the more I hate myself for being so transparent to you.
can you stop coming into my life anymore?
I just pushed you away.
I really can't afford to pull you back.

I really wonder if I'm the only one that has such distractions.
I really hate it when my body itches when I get fucked-up.

I realised that I'm more inclined to being more open now.
I can talk more confidently, because I adopt the don't care attitude.
Oh ya, I think Winnie's predictions will come true.
I think I would wear contacts, but it's scary.
I'm getting more random.
I smile more. :D

Anyway, leaving CO soon.
Tentatively April.
guess no more staying till June/July crap.
Just when I start to appreciate CO practices more and stop my procrastinations.
when I just started bonding with my lovely juniors,
I had to leave.
wtf.
At least I knew I left an impact on someone else's life.
I feel contented enough.

Sec 4 no life.
totally agree.
but i think JC will be like exam days everyday. YAY.
fucking shit.

Feel old though I'm still 15. YAY.
Feel like getting married now.
HOW?