I know I shouldn't be venting my frustration when I think of him. ):





I shall try to work out something. I know I can do it. (: Haha.





It's pretty contradicting to be sad and then happy the next moment. Frankly, I'm not feeling happy this night.





I dont't know what to say, if this is the way we are parting.

A horrible week packed with tests and projectwork is history now. Haha. I'm not worrying for my promos, which makes me anxious because I haven't studied much. I cannot sense the urgency. Actually, I hope someone can guide me to the correct feeling I should have.




I have no idea how much stress I'm under. I know that I'm pressurised, but I want to know the extent. It's quite uneasy not knowing how much stress one is under. As I'm typing, I'm starting to feel the stress. Apparently, I'm happy that I'm feeling anxious over promos. Because that is the gear that drives me to study.





Studying alone is the most effective. And I like to have the right feeling to study a particular subject too. I'm a very naughty and picky girl, I need the right feeling before I'm contented enough to start work.






I must work hard! :D I shall self-motivate myself. I'm a very independent person. That's how my mom always describe me to my teachers since primary school. Sigh. Anyway, it's a good comment. Haha.






I need to work hard so that I can do well.





I shall push myself till I reach the edge of the cliff. Be careful, don't fall off.

I shall make my posts sounds less abstract and more relevant. I kind of forget the fact that this is not a personal diary for my reference only. Haha.



Today is 090909. And I had a great time today. I shall not tell you who I went out with, but I love them! :D I barely studied and went out to play again. Woohoo! I'm such a playful person. So next time, when you want a playing companion, come look for me! :D



Let me tell you something funny my mother told me today. I asked her if I could go night studying with my good friend leechuang, she said it was stupid to study instead of sleep. Of course, I was a little pissed off, but I expected an answer along that line, so it was alright. Then she went on to say, " You don't need it anyway." Haha. :D



Our actions reflect our fear.

I told myself I would never forget yesterday. It finally happened. I would never ever forget it. Never ever.




You would be surprised how insignificant it was. I wished for that to happen since years ago. Seriously. It finally came true. Even if it was going to be the first and last time, I'm already happy enough. For at least, there was a single time. Sometimes, I wished all of these would never end. Honestly, it would seem simply insignificant and stupid to others, but it is like a surreal dream to me.




I know you are wondering what I'm trying to drive at again. But I suppose you can guess it some way or another. I know I'm being very foolish and stupid. Of course, I myself clearly know that I would never get it. As long as I'm happy and not regretful, that's all that really matters. The last thing I want to do is to reveal it out.





It seemed short-lived and I wished it never had an ending.

I didn't forget. Even if that function never existed, I'll still remember it. I won't forget it. It's not easy to forget something that is special to you. I can forget everyone else's, but I definitely won't forget yours.




Seriously, it's not easy for me to remember something vividly and get reminded automatically whenever these dates come along. It's really hard. It's kept in my heart all the time. If I remember something about you very clearly, you are very important to me.




I know I did it at the wrong timing. I'm sick of waiting. It's been far too long.





I didn't forget, just appear.

I went back to ngee ann today. I was supposed to go back for an alumni CO practice. It's pretty cool how I can force myself to wake up in the morning to go for this, when I'm always late for study dates at the library. Haha.




Before I step into the cd shelter, I smelt something so familiar. It was the smell of the place we always practised at. It immediately triggered those past memories. I like this feeling.




I like it.




I just wanna say that if I like your smell, I won't want to forget you.





In short, I want you to be with me all the while.




I was asked an intriguing question today. I have the answer.





I like the way you react to me.

It's been really long since I posted any blogposts. Hah.




I think it's time for me to start prioritising my time now. I'm starting to get the jitters from all the pressure placed on me. It's an invisible force, pushing you to your limits. At first, it simply irritates you, but after some time, it seems to be all fine and acceptable. It's something that you can never go against. I suppose we can only learn to live with it.




I define my life into two main parts, studying and playing. And I was playing today. The whole day. I've been playing too much. I need someone to anchor me down, but constant studying just isn't my style. I only come to realise that I'm such a playful person.




There is a need to settle down. I seem to have come to terms with it, but I'm still playing my time away. Anyway, I suppose playing after OP ain't a bad idea? :D




Putting aside the idea of me playing, my anger level was high today. I think I'm under some pressure and stress. The scary thing is that I can't sense it. That's intimidating.





I think I'm just angry with myself. Of course, it was exacerbated by external factors. It's alright, I'm feeling happy again now.





Stop playing so much.