changed my views
decided not to compete with other people at results

it's really competing and challenging myself
so i dont care about the results alr
just as long as i learn a lesson from it

gogogo...

as long as i meet the targets i set for myself
which is A1 i guess

this unknowing pressure is harder for me to take than ever
i hate to see the results
of course it's always under my standards
maybe i set too rocket high goals

but most importantly.
never be complacent
it's the worst flaw you can have

dont stretch me anymore
im afraid i might just break apart
GOD

let's just learn something from our foolish mistakes
pick up from where we tripped and move on
no point groaning at the very same spot

let's learn and absorb the lesson
and this is just part of life's experiences that everyone will go through

it took me so long to understand this
shame

dont contaminate your mind with stuff that's not meant for you
because you have no one to blame but yourself if anything goes awry
dont attempt to cheat and bluff yourself
it maybe a shortcut now
but it doesn't guarantee you a success
plus this is not your actual potential
just take it seriously
and do your best.

that's the most heartening thing you can do.
if you fail with your own potential
than pass with a guilty conscience

it's only but an attractive shortcut
take the long route to really learn the necessary points

that's what life's all about
shortcuts first, but gradually understand the meaning of the longer and conscientious road

depend on yourself
that's all that i can say
dont contaminate my mind
and worst control yourself not to expose yourself to the contamination

it really makes a whole world of difference
be a man.
lol.

cheer up (: