feeling relieved and happy now
for some reason (:
there's still doubts to me
but i believe in you i guess

today was chemistry mugging day for me
i know the subject i study first is a bit weird
but oh well
i dragged on too long
till now my revision is not over yet
guess it's looks like im studying for midyear exams more likely
tml i'll study geog then highlight bio
or else im going to die (:
ive not been planning my time well enough
okay planned very badly
i play too much
sleep too much
can't imagine i slept at 10pm ytd
i dint bathe and i just slept the moment i saw my bed
touched the pillow and slept
guess shopping was even more tiring for me than study
i went to the john little sales under winnie's recommendation
it's a good recommendation
coz my mom will nvr bring me here
why? coz she prefers OG
omg like wad's so good about that place?
i practically hate that place coz i went there every week for the past few years
i even know where's everything
so damn cool yea?
oh well those were good old days

i bought clothes again
coz we can't wear red
although i bought a pinkish-orange one
it looks reddish to me
OMG the worst thing is i dont get angbaos this year
fuck fuck fuck
coz my grandma passed away
wad crap
there'll still be money
like $2 from each one from my maternal side
coz they are not as well-off
but for my paternal side it's a complete different matter
the angbao money starts jumping from the price of at least $4
mean amount is about $10
highest amount is $24
i love that aunt a lot
although im not that close to her
but at least it's the closest lol
so amount collected it's quite a lot
this year i think
angbao money wont even reach $100
there used to be at least $300 sth
oh what fuck
what use will there be with me sitting over there staring at ppl?
i use to sit there and say thanks as i received angbaos
so cool lah i feel like im king wakaka
now no more
no reunion dinner also
sian although it's not fun too
but there's good food
got shark fin soup wor~
i feel so cruel (:
the expenditure is really a lot
there are 3 tables
see my family so big (:
but the problem is communication breakdown
each table can gather up to at least a few hundred
but who cares?
the company pays for it
family business passed down
my pa's a director wor (:
hope he can just take and sell his shares
company cum office cum family politics

really i can't stand it
a few months back
my mom said i will go in that company to work
coz i have special relations
what fuck
since when did i say i wanted to go there?
that place is so disgusting
it sounds like im begging to get myself in there?
omg pls i wan to be a psychiatrist can?
like who cares for that place.
even my parents are wanting to leave
okay like since they heard me getting scholarship
the $500 one
the prove that im like the elite ones (:
they wan me in that company
what shit
they are trying to cover my talent in that filfty place
argh feel so angry now
im a tool seriously?

suddenly i thought of sth
today i found ants in our mecedes car
how cool
i used to find a small cockroach coming out of that seatbelt hole
apparently i dont use the seatbelt
and hence it's the best place to fest over there eww
since dont know when i found an adult one
a real adult one that's disgusting
it started crawling over my leg
i dint scream
i started ranting at my mom first
before i could kill it, it escaped
my mom's eating too much food in the car
although we do too, it's my mom attracting those pest
suddenly i tot of mr chee
the last time we sat in his car during sec 2
we ate in his car
me, amanda, ml to be exact
by had dizi tsk
and mr chee said this was his first time he allows ppl to eat in his car
coz it was quite urgent
the reason being he was afraid of pests
and the first pest got attracted into the car...
coz we ate in his car :X
paiseh arh mr chee
that cockroach was exterminated ya
by dont know who maybe me
coz i dont scream unless with a good reason (:

feeling happy yet doubtful now
oh well i believe in you i guess
i have to (:
i changed back to my black specs again
time for history~