dont mind my bad temper lately
i get agitated by the littlest stuff
get sad over the stupidest things
can't stand and tolerate when ppl bully me anymore

maybe because im stressed out or sth
but the fact is im not even feeling any pressure from studies
i kinda started adopting the dont care lah method
tsk tsk tsk not following my policy ):

first i can finally understand where my problem is
i simply just can't forgive my mistakes.
i can easily forgive and forget others' mistakes
but definitely not mine.

let's take a maths for example.
i can't do it by myself to reach the time limit.
i get irritated, agitated, fucked up.
so i resorted to copying. blindly.
the word blindly is the crucial expression to why im so angry.
i have never copied blindly before.
even if i copy, it's reference. really just looking at wad's the method then trying it myself
im angry at myself for doing the 'wrong' thing
in the end, i was bloated with anger to even continue with lunch.
i really mean no offence not having lunch with you all
is just that i wanna have some peace, not disrupting your happiness as well
it's enough that only i have such perfectionist's psychology.

next is winnie drawing on my uniform.
yea im angry ):
and i drew lots of these ): on my chem paper.
angry not because winnie drew on my shirt.
because it's not washable to my fucking washing machine.
or rather the washing powder that is useless.
angry with myself for not being able to keep my uniform clean.

simply saying, im just too much for myself.
i over-request myself.
i really can't stand the littlest spot of mistake i make in my life.
ultimately, im not emo please.
im just expecting too much of myself.
dont say im emo.
im turning to the violent side.
i kick.

i read the website about the starsigns stuff.
im scorpio and i find what it says quite true.
im not born a man ):
less restriction-more opportunity
okay and i find some of them quite true
that's all.

still in search of my personality
it's ever changing i guess.
i like guys that are older and more mature than me.
lol (:
dont say im emo
i kick.
im fine really.